Hooking up in a car is a romance ritual. It is a stepping stone in the ladder of success, or sex-ess if you know what I mean. But the possibility of going to jail for some bodily love scares you to death. So what do you do, keep it safe and stick to the bedroom? Hell no!
Grab your car keys, because we are going to prepare you for having the most protected (don’t forget condoms) and wild car sex you’ll ever have!
Below are 10 tips to get that steamy car hook up you’ve been dreaming of:
- Car is for quickies
Want that slow, teasing, sensual rhythm of sex? Tough luck! Nobody’s got time for that. The more minutes you spend doing the dirty, higher the probability of you getting caught. Which race does slow and steady not win? The public sex one.
- Darkness is your friend
If you plan on hooking up in broad daylight, you might as well shine a spotlight on yourself and hold a megaphone yelling, “ Free Porno!”. The prophecy (just pretend there is one) states that when the sun falls on a horizon afar, a couple is destined to have sex in the car. Do it in the dark, you guys.
- Let it be breezy
This butt hack is going to save your butt from going to prison. All you need to do, is not wear underwear! Removing them in confined places is such a task, so why bother? Just be free, friend. Be free.
- The duller you are, the better
The key is not to be the center of attention. Unless you love prison, switch that eye-blinding neon outfit for a dark one. Pick out your dullest coloured outfit that makes you blend in the crowd, not stand out.
- Booty and bubbles are a great pair
Automated car washes take an average of 10 minutes. So if you’re a cheetah in the art of sex, get the inside of your car dirty while the outside gets clean! Finish before the car wash ends though, because what happens in a car wash, stays in a car wash!
- Foreplay later
Time is your worst nightmare during public hookups. All that petting and kissing is a waste of time here. Fast forward your foreplay to the actual sex! If a quickie isn’t enough to turn you on, start your foreplay before you get to the car. (and preferably behind closed doors, people!)
- Don’t make noise pollution
We know you want to scream and shout and let it all out. Hear your orgasm moans echo through the mountain tops. That’s all fair and good, but please let them echo off your bedroom walls. No automobile out there moans like you do, so it is sure to catch someone’s attention!
- Keep your clothes on
This is how we fool them all – cue evil mastermind laugh – into thinking we’re innocent. Keep most of your clothes on so the public remains ignorant. Also if someone is coming closer, you can just button up real quick and deny it! “You saw us doing what, sir? We would never do such a thing. We’re sure you imagined it!”
- Parking Lot
One of the most important aspects of car sex – the parking lot. Choosing a dimly lit, heavily deserted parking lot will allow you to get as nasty as you’d like without having to worry. A high school parking lot at night is perfect, nobody wants to step foot there after school is over!
- Spoon it
Spoon sex in the backseat is hands down, the best car sex position to avoid getting caught. Scoot to your backseat and let him lay on his side. Lay on your side in front of him and if the seat is narrow, hold on to the front seats for support. Nobody’s going to approach your car, unless you wave at the public through the windows with your legs!
Did you enjoy our sexpert ideas? To enhance your experience, learn to kiss better!