It takes so much planning and so much mental preparation to actually go through the act and lose your v-card! You want to tell the world that you’ve finally done it! But many of us go through some turmoil right after losing virginity, and it can be very confusing for the first few moments right after sex.
We know there’s a lot going on in your mind once you finish the act. Don’t get worked up, stay calm, and tell yourself these things:
1. It’s okay to feel a little pain
You might even bleed a little, because of the hymen tearing, It’s your first time, and your body isn’t used to being penetrated. If you experience a bit of discomfort, it’s okay. But if it begins to get more painful than you can handle, maybe you should tell your partner to slow down, indulge some more in foreplay, or use some lube.
2. This isn’t a movie, so it’s not going to be magical
Unlike how perfect the intimate scenes are in movies, IRL you’re nowhere close to it. Let’s face it, there’s a good chance you won’t even orgasm. It was mostly super awkward for you and your partner. You’re not the only one in this: everyone’s first time is weird and maybe even funny. But we assure you, it gets better the more you have sex.
3. You don’t have to suppress that urgent need to pee
Girls, after you lose your virginity (or even after every time you have sex), you’re mostly going to get that irrepressible need to run to the bathroom. Don’t feel embarrassed about doing so – if you pee right after having sex, it reduces the chances of getting an STD and stops bacteria from reaching your urethra.
4. Getting emotional is normal
You just got naked in front of someone and you’re probably feeling very vulnerable and insecure about your body. Having sex for the first time is an intense experience, and it builds up a lot of feelings. If you feel upset or ashamed of how you look, talk to your partner about it. Good communication always goes a long way to make a relationship more stable.
5. Maybe working out a little WILL make you look sexier naked
It’s perfectly normal to want to look fitter and more attractive. So go hit the gym and tone those muscles! The act of sex requires a lot more stamina and physical effort than you’d expected, so lifting those dumbbells and working on the elliptical is only going to do you wonders!
6. You’re not going to suddenly become a different person
This, again, happens only in movies. Don’t worry about it. You’re still going to like the same food, have the same personality, be who you have always been. The only difference will be that you’re no longer a virgin!
7. Don’t feel guilty about losing your virginity
This is so, so important. With the taboo a girl faces in society regarding losing her virginity, you should know that it is not immoral to do so. Don’t worry about what people will say, it’s your body and your rules!
8. It won’t necessarily change how you feel about that person
If you lost your virginity during a one-night-stand, you might expect the other person to maybe develop feelings for you, or vice-versa. The odds are against this assumption, so take it easy. Whereas if you lost it to your significant other, you’re more likely to feel a little more connected to them.
9. Things are going to change, and that’s alright
Your relationship dynamic is bound to change. You may feel more vulnerable, intimate, and closer to your partner. If your first time was not all that you made it out to be, you guys might even feel a little awkward around each other. We’re just gonna tell you to stick around and try it a few more times so you two get to understand each other’s bodies and have better sex eventually.
You may have gotten through your first time without messing up, but make sure you never say any of these things when you’re having sex!