Listen up Rajinikanth fans a.k.a basically everybody!
The much awaited Rajinikanth movie ‘Kabali’ is going to release tomorrow! India has gone wild over this release with things like declared holidays in Chennai and Air Asia serving Kabali-themed food! The Tamilian gangster drama film has been shot in Malaysia, Bangkok and Hong Kong. Watch the Kabali movie, the first Indian movie ever to be dubbed in Malay, Chinese and Thai. None of this is surprising because Rajinikanth, duh.
Recently, Rajinikanth jokes have become so famous that they are not jokes, they are facts! We know that he can do anything, but what if he got stoned? What would he do then? Let’s find out! To celebrate Rajinikant, we have 13 crazy things he would do if he got stoned:
- Paint a building When Rajinikanth went to America stoned, he did some crazy shit. When he masturbated behind a building, it later came to be known as The White House!
- Eat a mountain of Maggi Know how we get hungry when we’re stoned? You might eat 5 noodle packets, but Rajnikanth eats a mountain of it. What does Rajinikanth eat his noodles with? Lord Shiva’s Trident!
- Kick NASA’s butt He wanted to get high and chill in outer space. So when NASA invited him to play football on the moon, Rajinikanth scored a goal by kicking the moon!
- Play with time When we get high,time seems to slow down. When Rajinikanth got high, he didn’t travel through time, time travelled through him!
- Have his own perfume People know you’re stoned because you smell of weed. But when Rajinikanth smoked weed? He didn’t smell of weed, the weed smelled like him!
- Make his own fire Once he went with his friends to a campsite. They couldn’t start a fire, so what did Rajinikanth do? He picked two ice cubes, rubbed them together and made fire!
- Say smart stuff Most of us talk absolute nonsense when we’re high. When Rajinikanth got high and started talking, what he said became an encyclopedia!
- Kill dead things Most assassins can only kill living people, even when high. When Rajini got high, he went and killed a living room!
- Start to jump One time Rajinikanth got so stoned he started to long jump. When he reached the ground, 4 years had passed. So it was called a leap year!
- Went to Space When the rest of us get high, we’re still on the ground. When Rajinikanth gets high, he goes to outer space!
- Make vegetables cry Rajinikanth got hungry and decided to cook. He cut some onions, but he didn’t cry. He made the onions cry!
- Poked People through Facebook He was going through Facebook and decided to poke Mark Zuckerberg. Mark Zuckerberg got poked so hard he ended up at the hospital!
- Gave things cancer When Rajinikanth smokes a joint, he never gets lung cancer. He gives the joint cancer!
Feel like rolling a joint now? We’ll teach you some new cool techniques!